Ride +

was recently interviewed by a local podcast crew to talk about yoga and my life. I’ve been blessed with this gift twice now and it is just that- -an incredible blessing.

I’ve been experiencing an abundance of change in almost every aspect of. my. life. recently. It’s been a time of great shift. Torn from the ideas and comforts I had rested into the future. The lesson learning radical presence towards life. Right now. Flat out, there is no amount of planning that will ever account for life! We don’t know what life with bring us. Life, it does it’s thing, and we ride.

We ride the change of time.
We ride the change of relationships.
We ride the change of grocery prices,
Of mass shootings
Of death
Of job loss
Of financial distress
Of disease and dis-ease.
Of Healthcare
Of taxes
Of weather
Of Media
Of Instagram adds
Of Mother Earth dying
Of people getting rich off the poor
Of mental health being stigmatized when we all suffer.

Suffering is a part of the human condition. It’s part of why and how we landed here in these sheath bodies. And it is truly the ultimate test of our devotional accountablility to uphold steadfastly to the practice and teachings of Yoga, to remember this, and choose freedom. This is the great battle. This is the Bhagavad Gita. This is Arjuna. This is the way.

At least, to me.

So in this interview I was pointedly asked “why did you chose a career path that pays little, asks more, provides no healthcare or insurance benefits, and is entirely based off the hustle and the determination you have towards the goals you set for yourself in your life. Why? How do you not give up on the dream and find a stable 9-5? Wouldn’t it be easier?

I paused.

“I cant give up on my “yoga dream”. It’s not just a Dream, it’s a philosophy and a practice and a science devoted to living life free from unsubstantiated turbulence.

I read the ancient texts, I study them, I teach them, I practice them as best I can physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is my life and mental health goal to find the truth of the words I teach one day deeply embedded into all aspects of my life. It IS my dream, but it is most importantly my path to my life’s passion(ate).

Svadyaya is a niyama in the astanga or The Eight-Fold Path. It’s a study of the self; and observance, a witnessing, an accepting, a look within- a radial awareness towards the habits, patterns and tendencies of our actions and doing so without judgement (good/bad, right/wrong, beatiful/ugly) and learning, and becoming undeniably aware of those things we do that impead our spiritual understanding of life. The ways in which we go against our wisdom and choose ignorance or fear. Those last two words, that’s the thing, they’re harsh. None of us want to be ignorant towards the understanding of ourselves, none of want to live in fear…. so why are we and how do we not?

The answer is simple: We have faith and we practice.

My faith is in yoga.
My goal is to embody self-love and freedom from my personal sufferings. I want to release the ways in which I stand in my own way. I want to handle life’s change powerfully and boldly.
And the key to all that is; I really just have to say, “Yes. Ok. Let’s go. Let go.” and sit.
Sit my ass down to practice what I preach and continue to train towards that which I seek.

I’m still learning this. Yoga is a constant learning. Maybe I am a teacher of yoga, but mastery does not come in the form of a teacher training certificate. It’s the next level. And it’s not easy. I’m on this path and I’m beside each of my students as we grow together. I’m not altogether sure whether I chose this path or if it chose me. Seriously.

Hahaha. I got a little off topic but rounding back to the beginning you can see it’s not really a dream, it’s my life’s work. 9-5 can’t bring me that, so I ramble on.”

This is why these interviews are such a blessing. Hearing yourself talk about what the hell it is that you’re doing with your life and then realizing you almost didn’t know WHAT you knew until it came out of your mouth. Priceless. I love where I am despite any and all the hardship I’ve got going on, because my lense of sight is learning to look at the good and release the rest. I’m practicing. I’ll always be practicing. Learning my way back home. Riding the wave(s).